[Transcript of a midweek message published by Horley Baptist Church on YouTube[1], February 2021]
In our current times we see an increasing amount of anger and division. People certain that they are right, and everyone else is wrong. But how can we tell if we are right if we’re not prepared to listen to those who think differently?
Apart from COVID, the one defining thing of 2020, I think, is an increase in tribalism. People separating themselves, dividing themselves into their separate groups. I don’t know whether it’s the fear of COVID or just the fact that people have been unable to go outside and meet with other people, and have been spending more time in their social media echo chambers. But, whatever it is, the thing that has become fashionable in 2020 and again in 2021 is to be angry, to be outraged at anyone who could possible act differently or think differently to you. The battle lines have been drawn over race and gender, sexuality and politics.
People have responded to those with differing opinions themselves in maybe two different ways. One way is to mute them, to put them on mute, to stop them having a public voice, to cancel them, to petition against them, to have them removed from any position where their voice can be heard. But another way is to go out on the streets, to protest or to write angry letters or social media posts, even to loot and riot, to shout as loudly as you can in any way that will enable your voice to be heard.
See, whatever category these groups, these people might fall into in terms of their actions, what they have in common is their inability to listen to other people, to try and understand a differing point of view. Now, psychologists can give you numerous reasons why people don’t listen, why we don’t listen, why you don’t listen. I’m not going to name all of them but I’m just going to give a few examples. I want you to think about them and be honest about whether or not you fall into these categories:
- One of them is truth, this need to be right, to be true, that you hold the only truth and anyone who doesn’t agree with you has to be wrong.
- Another one is blame; the fault lies in the other person, that the problem is not you but someone else so why on earth would you listen to them?
- Another one is self-deception, that you can’t believe that you could possibly be wrong. Or there’s defectiveness, you have a real fear of criticism, of people telling you that you are wrong so it’s far better to just not listen rather than face the possibility of someone saying that you’re at fault.
- And then there’s coercion, the sensitivity that you are particularly fearful and uncomfortable with any idea that someone might be forcing you or coercing you to act in a certain way or to think in a certain way. In other words, you do not want to be told what to do and what to think.
These are just a few reasons why people don’t listen to other people, why people would rather surround themselves with people like them than actually take the time out to be curious, to ask questions and to try to understand a different point of view to your own.
But I want to leave you with a thought – a question really. The question is this: “What does it feel like to be wrong?” You might say that it feels embarrassing, humiliating, but that’s what it feels like to find out that you are wrong. See the truth is, being wrong feels exactly the same as being right. So how are you going to find out which one you are?
Hey, thank you so much for tuning into our mid-week message. Do remember to subscribe to our Youtube channel and to share these videos on social media and just a reminder that this mid-week message is linked to our Sunday service and we’re starting this week a new teaching series called “Me and My Big Mouth”, and this Sunday we’re going to explore the importance of listening, and find out what James, a leader of the first Church, had to say about the necessity to listen. So do tune in on Sunday and thank you so much for watching this video.
’bye
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[1] YouTube link: How do I know if I’m right?
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Contributed by Martin Shorey; © the Author
