[This reflection was published in the weekly news bulletin of Horley Baptist Church, 03/May/2020]
Why do we worry?
It is such a horrible feeling and is clearly forbidden in the Bible, yet most of us do it. For many of us it starts off as a survival strategy. Those of us whose brains are affected by autism (like me) or childhood trauma often find that unexpected change temporarily freezes the brain, causing a response of sheer panic. Only by anticipating things that might happen can you prepare for them and cope when they arise. This can lead to sensible precautions like making a will, having a pot of money for emergencies or taking a spare pair of glasses on holiday, but once we have done this we need to let go of the worries, which is much easier said than done.
One thing I expect most of us never worried about was a new global virus, although it has resulted in things many of us feared, like sickness, financial insecurity, or the strain of caring for our children with no respite. The closure of all churches and being forbidden to meet friends is also the stuff of nightmares. Yet we can be thankful that these are not the actions of a brutal dictator but are safety measures designed to protect us from harm. When King David incurred God’s anger by taking a census of his fighting men, God gave him a choice of 3 punishments, famine, war or plague. David chose the plague saying: “Let me fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is very great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men.” (1 Chronicles 21 v 13)
Recently I felt God was asking me why I find it so hard to trust him, even though I know he loves me more than my friends do and more even than my mother did. My answer was “Your love is scary because it is so tough. You loved Jesus, but still allowed him and many of his followers to go through unimaginable suffering. My mother would never allow me to go through any suffering if she could prevent it.” I then remembered a time when I wish she had shown me tough love. The dentist recommended that I had 2 teeth out and a brace fitted to straighten my front teeth. I was so frightened of having teeth out that my mother agreed to leave them as they were, sparing me a small amount of pain but a giving me a lifetime of crooked teeth and an impaired bite. Looking back, I am thankful for the times when God has shown me tough love in the past, even though I struggled at the time, just as 6 year old Michael struggled with me when I gave him life-saving insulin injections.
Jesus said: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16 v 33.
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Contributed by Helen Ruffhead; © the Author
