[This reflection was published in the weekly news bulletin of Horley Baptist Church, 19/September/2021]
We start off in life initially unaware of what goes on around us, why things are the way they are. We are blissfully ignorant, and we are recognised as children. Children are renowned for asking questions however, some of which are quite probing, and at our own pace, we grow out of childhood towards becoming adults.
The questions don’t go away however, and we keep searching for the answers. For me, there came a time when I was aware that the one who could answer many of my questions was the One who had created me, but I wasn’t sure that I was ready to either ask Him, or keen to hear the answers I might receive.
You see, from what I had heard about Him, I didn’t feel that I measured up to His standards and was sure that He would require me to change. I wasn’t ready for that. I had seen some Christians and they didn’t look particularly happy. It seemed as if the only way to be accepted by Him was to obey rules and regulations, to deny myself of things I liked and wasn’t keen to let go of, and to make sure I did more good deeds than bad ones. Even then, who knew whether I would still fall short? Would my bad deeds still outweigh my good ones?
I wondered what it would take for me to be deemed ‘worthy’ of Him and whether I could attain that, but not have to let go of parts of my life that I wanted to hang onto. What would it take to make a rebel like me lay down his weapons and surrender?
The words of a Southern Country song called ‘He was thinking of me’ come to mind:
I’ve wondered what He was thinking of when the crowd came that day
And took him from the garden as His disciples walked away
What could have gone through his mind as they nailed him to the tree?
Oh, but now I know, he was thinking of me.
He was thinking of me, all the way to Calvary,
He had me on his mind, all of the time, so that I could be free.
It’s hard to understand, but now I can see,
He suffered and died so that I could have life,
He was thinking of me.
As Jesus hung on the cross that day, a multitude gathered round.
Each one he was dying to save, but He saw more than just that crowd.
For His mind went to the future, when he would hear this sinner’s prayer.
For He knew I too would need a saviour.
Thank God, He was thinking of me.
What would it take to make a rebel like me lay down his weapons and surrender?
If I was forced into submission, if I was made to see that I had no choice … Logical thoughts, but God’s way was different. He chose to let me know that even while I was still determined to be a rebel, He loved me. He wasn’t going to force, or coerce me, but He chose instead to show me that He loved me then, loves me now, and will love me forever.
He was thinking of me, all the way to Calvary,
He had me on his mind, all of the time,
so that I could be free.
It’s hard to understand, but now I can see,
He suffered and died so that I could have life,
He was thinking of me.
.
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Contributed by David Makanjuola; © the Author
