[This reflection by Helen Ruffhead was published in the weekly news bulletin of Horley Baptist Church, 12/Feb/2023]
Recently I was thinking about the young people who have stayed with me over the past 6 years. Most of them have related to me as a friend, even a mother (or grandmother) figure, but some (especially the boys) seemed to see me just as a provider of a bed, meals and clean washing. It suddenly struck me how often I too have seen people purely in terms of their function, perhaps as my sons’ carers, shop assistants or church officials, rather than as individuals with feelings and families.
It is easy to make the excuse that I am no good at small talk and that sometimes I have offended people by asking the wrong questions. Relating to people purely in terms of their function is safer, as I know what to say and am less likely to make mistakes. However, I know that I am unlikely to offend someone by asking how they are and listening carefully to their answer. Praying regularly for people also helps me to care about them and prompts me to ask the right questions.
How often do we relate to God simply as a provider of things we need rather than trying to get to know Him? We may say “Lord” when we pray, but if we then proceed to tell Him what we want Him to do for us we are assuming that He is our servant.
We all know the story of Mary and Martha, one that has always made me rather uncomfortable as I have a lot of sympathy for Martha. I now see that Jesus was showing that, unlike the men of his day, He didn’t see women just as servants of the men but as friends, a radical and shocking idea in those days. When Jennifer Rees Larcombe was seriously ill, she felt God say to her that many people wanted to serve Him but few wanted to be His friend, which was what He wanted most of all.
Hosea 6 v 6 says “I want your constant love, not your animal sacrifices. I would rather have my people know me than burn offerings to me” (GNB).
Jesus said “I do not call you servants any longer, because a servant does not know what his master is doing. Instead I call you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father“. (John 15 v 15 GNB).
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Contributed by Helen Ruffhead; © the Author
